Has anyone ever ignored you? How have you dealt with it?

 


I was enjoying my scrumptious Paneer Tikka during the last office party. One of the foreign delegates standing next to me, also enjoying his chicken, asked my colleague about his plans for the weekend. He replied grimly, “Nothing special.”

My colleague ignored him. And then he walked away to put his plate down, and joined another group of people where no one would ask him questions.

It looked rude. I couldn’t believe it. He wasn’t the same person in office. The delegate tried to get to know him better and asked about his personal life, which he didn’t want to share with the group.

I have three questions, and you can answer them in the comments

1) Do you think he, my colleague, is an introvert?

2) Do you think he had low self-esteem before the delegate and therefore shied away from talking about his personal life?

3) Do you think he wasn’t interested in talking because it wouldn’t help him? He found other interesting people to talk to.

I think he falls under option 2; he had low self-esteem. He was afraid that the delegate would judge his life.

(This could also be case 3, I’ll write another post about it, but let’s stick with option 2 today).

Such scenarios look from the outside as if they are because of an introvert nature, but in reality, the person who seems to be rude has low self-esteem or dignity in front of the other person. Showing rudeness is never anyone’s intention, but the fear of judgmental thoughts scares people away.

They become overwhelmed and don’t see themselves as equals and shy away from sharing things.

Let me tell you, when you are around such people who you think are rude to you, think again if they had low self-esteem. Try to help them.

1) Do not push them to answer?

2) Break the ice, make them comfortable.

3) Tell something you are not good at in a funny way, that how good it is to be bad at something.

It’s not a guarantee that the person will open up, but you would attempt to help such people.

However, if you fall under the category of having low confidence and low self-esteem, then read this out.

THEY advise you should surround yourself with people who are better. But don’t let these better people overwhelm you. Avoid assuming any negative thing. 

Each of us has a different life, background and story. You cannot compare them with each other.

1) Remember that people who think they are masters are living in an illusion.

2) Do a quick risk check of the situation. What will happen if you talk to someone or share your thoughts? Will it really impact your life?

3) Assume nothing on your own unless you don’t see or hear it. Okay, you can have a gut feeling, but after a while, even that needs confirmation.

4) Put yourself in uncomfortable situations and practice dealing with them. This will make you realize you’ve been a fool all along.

5) Never think of yourself as a poor thing.


This post is a part of Blogchatter Half Marathon.

Chetan Maheshwari

Hello, I am a Project Management Professional, and an author and a blogger by passion. I like good sarcasm and humor. Books, people around me, and nature inspire me, and my blogs and book reflect the same.

6 Comments

Let me know what you think

  1. That guy's rudeness was uncalled for even if he is an introvert or shy or whatever.

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    Replies
    1. I agree, but not sure if such people understand they are being rude, they are busy thinking about someone else's judgemental thoughts...Thank you!

      Delete
  2. I think he wasn’t interested in talking because it wouldn’t help him? He found other interesting people to talk to. - it has happened, if you are not part of the "happening" group you get this cold treatment from the other side.

    I think ur colleague, is an introvert?

    It can be either of two options because, i have faced these situation many times they find me rude, since I can talk too much or too less. Or end talking about myself to much being nervous, especially if its female counterpart and no known to me, I had it. I have very bad reputation...! :-) so i can understand its better to be judged so try avoiding to talk, but that's worsens the situation. I don't think there's any said

    there is nothing such as right or wrong, its all circumstantial I can say.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for reflecting on the topic and sharing your experience.
      Yes, it is circumstancial and all of the three options may be valid.
      The most common that we encounter is that the person infront is interested in talking to other people.

      However, I have been in all the three cases from time to time, and yes it worsens the situation in some cases

      I also think that there is a very thin line between being an introvert and unknowingly self-pitying oneself infront of others.

      You rightly pointed out there is no right or wrong about it, what one feels correct is right for the person.

      Delete
  3. Quite difficult to think anything other than, "how rude!" It is very magnanimous of you to think otherwise, though you may be right, low self-esteem does make one do weird things.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your kind words. I read about low self esteem in one of the articles, and then I started relating it with instances, surprisingly it started making sense....and yes low self-esteem makes one do wierd things

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