Jun 29, 2013

Curbing Molestation and Rape

How do you feel when you see a pretty girl wearing an appealing dress that perfectly suits her curves, and you whisper to your self “ Oh my, how can she be mine”... mind you this is only for man…:) 





Men will always ogle, and women also likes to be ogled and noticed by men. I believe or rather think that most women dress themselves so that men notice them, and women will also agree to this fact. A woman becomes happy within herself if a man gets nervous (on seeing her beauty), if someone calls her pretty and beautiful, even if someone unknown stares her, she blushes and feels that femininity in herself and feels that her purpose is accomplished. A wish of these emotions, sometimes, unknowningly force woman to compare herself with other women because of jealousy and fear of not looking better than them. It consequently creates two situations, one a woman dresses up very beautifully and takes everybody's praise,and the other is she ends up being a mess feels low in herself and sometimes in jealousy and insecurity starts showing off her skin in an effort to look beautiful and sexy.

 A girl is beautiful and feminine only if a man sees her, even a well-covered girl dressed with good girly attitude solves that purpose. This fact in this modern world is slowly getting shadowed and is losing its meaning, and in totality the essence of being feminine is becoming vague. Dressing up with short clothes, showing off skin, and looking better than other girls is now becoming the traits of being feminine. There is a very fine line between a man looking at a girl with the combination of appreciation and lust, and a man looking at a girl with the overwhelming desire of sex. Girls on the other hand have a very fine line in choosing their dress and showing their attitude that could gain the appreciation of being feminine, and the other one that could ignite that overwhelming feeling of lust and sex in him.



 What happens when that overwhelming desire ignites in men? Why it ignites??And in which type of men does it ignite?? 

There can be various reasons but what I can think off are jealousy from peers having more feminine connections, men having late marriages, over indulgence of men in mundane things. I shall first put thoughts on the last one as the men who lose their control on their mind easily, and who can get attracted to new things easily. These kind of men are the ones who actually lose control on seeing fairer sex in small and revealing clothes. It is not necessary that as soon as this kind of man sees a girl, he will commit some societal taboo but it will for sure contribute to slowly raise that level of excitation in him. Once the threshold (which depends from person to person) is reached, then the man will commit a crime, and only to those females who are easily approachable to him, but not to the ones who actually with him also contributed to ignite that desire.It can be anybody, may be that is why we hear rape cases to a girl of almost any age. 

The first two points that were left to be considered here were about a man who crosses his threshold limit but is happily married or in a relationship. In such a case,he would not at least commit a known crime. This brings our attention to the fact about people who are not married and not in a relationship at all and crosses their threshold limit. I am here talking about youngsters i.e of age group 20-30 who are believed to be the future of this nation. This indicates to us a truth that the tradition of late marriages and unhappy marriages also becomes a reason that forces men to commit rape. 



How women can play a part to control rape, molestation?? 

I believe not every women understands that fine line. They should think about this issue and should try to understand and define the fine line for them, as their one wrong or careless step can unknowingly contribute to one or more molestation or rape to somebody else. Women should explain their teenage girl kids in a way which they understand. Teenagers are not developed to think upto this extant till the time someone else throws light in front of them.


 What men can do to curb this?? 

Men can do everything to curb this. One thing that everybody should understand is going to good colleges or institutions doesn't solve this issue. If institutions,or man himself, can develop the ability in him to think and understand the difference between wisdom and illusion, between love and sex, between the prime duty of a man and a woman, and understand the similarity between mother and creator, then perhaps we may move a step ahead to curb this crime. A man should have the ability to attain peace of mind if he loses control on his emotions. 

The bigger point that comes here is how would common man learn to attain the peace of mind. I pondered over this for a long time and came to one point from my experiences of life,if i have ever been in problem i have searched for a guru in my family, elders, brothers, friends, books,and for anything that can inspire me and help me to take the right decision. Unknowingly I have gone into the shadow of a guru. I believe this is the universal technique to solve any issue.A man therefore should always be in the shadow of a guru; a guru who can inspire him, give him the peace of mind,and help him in taking decisions over anything. If everyman understands this need of guru and also understands where can he find him;a guru can even be your best friend who gives comfort to you at your low times, then we may up to some extent will be able to curb rape and molestation. 


What society can do to minimize rape or molestation cases? 

We have to understand the pros and cons of late marriages and open relationships. A society should have such norms which will fulfill the needs of its people.If a need of every age group is considered and accommodated then also we can expect to move one step closer to reduce rape and molestation cases. 







I believe if we can think more deeply on the above points then we will surely make a secured place for a fairer sex to live in.

5 comments:

♥●• İzdihër •●♥ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
♥●• İzdihër •●♥ said...

There is no guarantee either she is wearing black burqa, covered from head to toe in chader or roaming in revealing cloth is responsible for such a horrible thing. HE GOTTA CONTROL HIM SELF,no matter what.

Follow each other.

Chetan said...

@Izdiher

first of all welcome to my blog. You are right he has to control himself at any cost but it is just that in some cases revealing clothes of a girl may excite him more than what is normal for him. Please mark only in some cases not all, it depends from person to person.


Keep smiling :)

Namrata Sarkar said...

Chetan, As I read your post, my mind echoed, on one hand, Tagore's lines "Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high..." and on the other hand the lame comments from our politicians on the same subject. The issue here is not about drawing the line between women's clothing/preferences over men's freedom to exercise their will/power, rather it is about allowing one half of your population to grow and live freely. A flower deserves to be nurtured and not be plucked or smashed for being beautiful. We are here talking about the oldest civilization in the world, which gave equal rights to women - even the right to dress or undress; besides allowing them the choice whether to be a courtesan or a regular woman. Those were the times, unlike what it has been portrayed on the television, when women dressed scantily, often exhibiting their voluptuous bosoms, as is evident from the ancient temple sculptures. Then came the age of the invaders and the looters and the so called physically powerful and civilized men were unable to protect the women - giving rise to 'burkha' and 'purdah'. When the Britishers came to India 250 years ago, they were taken aback at the sight of topless women in sarees - thus mandating bra and blouses which were previously unknown to the Indian society. By exposing her skin, she does not intend to lure men to rape her, though she might intend to seduce - which is an expression of a free self. But because a woman wants to be free and because the sense of her freedom since eons has been enticing one half of men to commit crimes, she is subjected to curb her desires. Given a choice, its easy to 'cover-up' a woman aka curb her freedom rather than tame and domesticate 'wild' men. Women, as your post suggests, should be like the rose shrub that grows inside a barrier and that when it tries to blossom outside of the barrier should be prepared to get its flowers plucked by some selfish folks. Unfortunately, a woman's freedom, unlike ancient times, is viewed today as an abetment for heinous crime. Ironically, instead of addressing the true issue, we are still debating how women should dress, how they should behave, etc., thus failing to free one half of its population.

Chetan said...

@Namrata,
First of all thanks for sharing your views. After reading your comment, I first thought to right another post and illustrate this topic further, but finally decided to put up my further thoughts here only.

We (politicians, diplomats, great thinkers, paper and print media) are still debating on what women should and should not wear, which actually is senseless to talk about. I completely agree with you

. Every citizen (male or fairer sex) has equal rights to breathe, eat, drink, live, wear etc...Nobody stops a girl to roam around in bikini at public places, except for some special cases where a girl in one of the temples in Ahmedabad was forced to drape saree around her as she was wearing an appealing dress. .
Neither did we hear that a girl who was raped was wearing a bikini or lingerie or not wearing anything or whatever. Then why the hell was girl raped. What I, and not the so called 'we' group, think that criminal may not be deciding on the basis of clothes whether to rape a particular girl or not . It is his mental condition that forces him to act in such a brutal way. I wish to highlight the factors that somehow create that mental condition. One of these factors is revealing clothes of women. It instigates a feeling that we can call as of lust or frustration. Even this is not even the penultimate step to crime. Then comes the level of sexual happiness of a criminal's life. This is the penultimate step to crime and both the above factors can contribute to the crime. I again wish to reiterate that a girl wearing an appealing dress is never raped, she only is a small part of a criminal's thought process which forces him to rape any damn easily approachable girl.

Now comes a point that why then girl should understand the fine line. I believe we all are part of the society and everybody should contribute for eradicating this epidemic-type evil. My mind and heart doesn't agree that by only domesticating the wild man and not without women's support, we can even move an inch closer to eradicate this evil. Support here doesn't bar any women to wear clothes in restrictions. It is about realizing the responsibility as a citizen, and not think of oneself as a part of fairer sex group..






Well, I will definitely write another post on the changing dressing sense of women. Thanks for giving me a topic to write on.


Keep Smiling :)